Dwaaaah! Who's there?
Whoa! It's only you. For a minute there, I was scared. Let me introduce myself.
My name is Duo Maxwell and this is my closet.
What am I doing in a closet, you ask?
Well, to tell you the truth, this is the most quiet area in this whole place. I can't
stand Rimmer's music. Reggie Wilson? Blehhh! *bending over gagging*
And what may I ask is wrong with Reggie Wilson?
Duo, you obviously have absolutely no good taste in music.
What are you talking about? Arrg! You know what?
I don't even care anymore! Just go away!
Well, what if I don't feel like leaving? What if I feel
like staying here all day?
You really think so, eh?
Well well well, we'll just have to see about that... *walks towards Rimmer, pushing up sleves*
Don't come any closer! If you do... I'll start singing my themesong... *looking smug*
*about to pommel Rimmer* You're bluffing. You wouldn't dare!
Hah hah hah... that's what _you_ think m'laddy....*Clears throat*
If you're in trouble he will save the day,
He's brave and he's fearless come what may,
Without him the mission would go astray...
Hey! It's the Rimmer Experience Theme Song! Wow! This is such a cool song!
*KaPpA mAkI joins in*
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
Without him life would be much grimmer,
He's handsome, trim, and no-one's slimmer,
He will never need a Zimmer.
AHHHHH! When will this nightmare ever end?!
*Rimmer and the KaPpA mAkI singing a duet...*
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
More reliable than a garden strimmer,
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner,
He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer.
Master of the wit and the repartee,
His command of Space Directives is uncanny,
How come he's such a genius? Don't ask me...
Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
He's also a fantastic swimmer,
And if you play your cards right,
then he just might come 'round for dinner.
*continuously beats his head against the wall and blacks out*
